Raising girls scares the living shit out of me. There, I said it. It isn’t because I am not confident in my parenting abilities; it is because I remember what it is like to be a teenage girl. Believe it or not, it hasn’t been that long since I was one <cough, cough>. I see my girls growing up and find myself in awe of what we (Farmer Bob and I) have created. I may be a bit biased, but I see beautiful, smart, amazing girls. At their ages now (10, 6, and 4) they are not so much concerned with appearance and acceptance, but times they are a-changing. Sooner rather than later I am afraid. What am I most afraid of? That they will grow up with this false sense of what is real and what is not. That their own self worth will suffer because of the falsities they see going on around them. That they will think that they need the approval of others in order to feel comfortable in their own skin. I know that as the main female presence in their life it is up to me to make damn sure that they grow up to be strong, confident women. This day and age, this may be the most difficult task I have ever attempted to accomplish.
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| Image courtesy of Pinterest |
My dear friend Craughing is ready to tackle this issue head on. She is starting the Self Worth Action Project. Honestly, I believe that this is genius. We all need a reminder as to what makes us, well, what makes us US. What makes us beautiful, strong, smart, and FABULOUS. I join her in challenging you to join this project. Please follow the link and join her, you will find me there. Do it, you DESERVE it!
Comments
Yeah, I am scared shitless! I have 2 girls, 2 and 6, and they are the only kids we have. So, 100% of our kid raising success depends on me to hit that fine line of self worth/tramp. Sigh, I will give it my best shot! Here’s to being a strong, good mommy! Cheers, happy weekend!
Devan
Oh, you couldn’t have said it any better. My kids are only 4 and 17 months but everything you write about is already one my mind. Self worth is something I fear is disappearing all too easily today and I am determined my children will grow up with an appreiation for it. Yes, I’m their friend and I love them more than anything, but more importantly, I’m their parent and it’s my job to guide where I can, applaud their successes, provide a shoulder and hug for their failures, let them choose their own path, and help them grow up into confident and strong individuals. Great post!
As a mother of a son, I am now raising a granddaughter. It is so completely different and I worry every day that I won’t teach her the important things that every girl needs to know. The little things (cross your legs when you sit down with a skirt), the sorta important things (choose wisely!) and the BIG things. Teaching her how to be kind, loving, caring and have the self worth she needs in this big, bad world scares the shit out of me, too. I go day by day and hope I’ve made the right choices each time. Thanks for sharing!
Yes! A million times, yes! My girls are only 3 and 9 months, but these issues have lurked in the back of my mind since the day I found out I was pregnant with a girl. It’s scary out there, and knowing how to raise your kids to be aware but not afraid is hard!
My girls are 13 and 10, they are emotionally draining every day. They take turns trying to conquer my sanity. Self esteem is the BIGGEST think they need, if not they become like a Diney movie where Ursula steals Ariels voice. An evil B is always waiting in the wings for their chance to pounce…
As the mom of two girls, I love this.
This is just so perfect! I have to share it.
I have two girls. Hubby has decided that to help them gain and maintain self-worth and confidence (they are 5 and 3 has enrolled them in Jiu-Jitsu taught by the only black belt weilding woman in our state. He said, “nothing will empower them as much as knowing and being able to choke hold a guy. And having a powerful woman to look up to in that respect will make it even better.”
Very true — I took martial arts for years and it definitely helped my self-confidence around guys and in going out into the world safely. Good for you and your husband to choose a strong woman instructor to teach and inspire your girls!
^^ Love this and will keep in mind for my 2-year-old daughter!
As a mom of 6 girls I hear you! It’s exhausting, hence my name lol!
Holy crap! 6 girls! God be with you!
This is awesome and makes it perfectly clear that you have NOTHING to fear–your daughters are so blessed to have you! This is definitely something I struggle with all the time. My girls are seven (though she acts like she is fifteen. I’m in trouble!) and five. The five-year-old already knows that people think she is beautiful and adorable and she plays it ALL the time–mostly because people let her. The older one is obsessed with how she looks (at SEVEN–has been that way since she was THREE and I have NEVER acted like that in front of her!) and can be completely insecure one minute and maybe too confident the next. I don’t think I am going to make it to the teen years…
Karate, business and guns is my plan. Self sufficiency and protection are a must for my young daughters.
This is such a timely post for me! Check out my challenges as I raise my 13 year old girl. Warning, it’s not pretty.
xo
http://somewhineandjeez.blogspot.com/
Beautiful! Is that Mini-Me carrying PITA? God, that’s cute!
You know what, you write the truth. But gosh darn, I’ve been duped by folks in person that I thought were friends, acted like friends, but weren’t really in the end. So I figure, even if I haven’t ‘met’ the person, I’m still investing them as my friend despite meeting them over the internet (that means you and a few others!) because my ‘in-person’ friendship bull shit meter is sometimes defective. So I’m willing to risk it. Does that make sense?
Well, said. The internet IS a scary place, and this generation of children are growing up not knowing what life was like before the internet. I think the fact that the internet is now as commonplace as the phone might give kids a false sense of security. The internet is where they interact with their friends, so they might not realize that it can also be very dangerous, like you say. Even adults sadly fall victim to scams and imposters, so how is a child to know better? This post definitely gets me thinking about what it’s going to be like raising my little girl once she gets older. She is only a baby now, but I know the time will come when she will start facing issues of self-esteem, self-image etc, and I also know that I want to prevent as many of these issues as I can by teaching her about her worth as an individual starting from a young age. It sounds like you have done a really good job of doing this with your little girls, and I think that is such a valuable lesson. Wow. That was really rambly. Anyway, hopefully that made sense. Bottom line is: Yes. Ditto everything you just said in your post.
I’m scared too! Technology scares the living SHIT out of me! Especially FB. I know that a lot of kids create one account for their family to see, and have a completely separate secret account that they only share with friends their own age and God only knows who else. *shudder*
The scariest thing for me is what a wild teenager and college-student I was. I was SOOO stupid… I have too many cringe-worthy memories that I wish I could just erase! I pray every day that all my nagging and lecturing will make some kind of impact with my kids so that they don’t submit to peer-pressure the way I did…
Very well put. This new world we live in is so easy to get lost in. I really believe honesty is the most important quality to instil in my children. One of the only things that causes me to loss my temper is lying. With adults a lie is a one way road for me to not talk to them again.
I’m going to have to cross this inevitable bridge in my house as well. And, I’m not looking forward to it, since we have already had girl drama in PRESCHOOL!!! But, we’re trying to teach them how to stand up for themselves and make smart choices. That, coupled with a boatload of prayers…
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As the mum of two lovely daughters, now aged 21 and 19, I can confirm that parenting teenage daughters was pretty terrifying. It’s not that our daughterly duo were in any way “bad” (in fact, they were much less terrifying than a lot of their peers, fortunately!). They were simply normal, inquisitive young folk who wanted to experience life to the full. And their ideas of what that meant didn’t always correspond with their boring old mum’s restrictions! That said, it has absolutely been worth all the worry and the sleepless nights waiting for them to arrive back home in one piece – they are great fun to spend time with and we seem to have made it through the teen years (well, only 6 months to go till the 19-year-old turns 20, so nearly there!). You sound as if you’ve got the issues totally sussed already so you’ll do a great job
Love this. Love you. So honest and right from your heart. Your girls are lucky ladies to have you as their mom.
Well said and golf clap to you! I had to share this thank you for posting this thoughtful piece:)
Even with a boy, I worry about self-worth and peer pressure. I hope I raise him to respect women, do what is right and now what the crowd pressures him to. I hope he stands up for others and is a friend to all. I hope he loves and is happy
This was so beautiful my sweet friend. She is so lucky to have you as a mom. Love the JK rowling quote – I’d never seen that before! As far as SWAP goes…what a gift to share that with so many..kudos Craughing! xo Love and Hugs.
FB for kids is scary! I was looking through my son’s accoun recently and popped over to some of his ‘friends’ profiles because I saw a picture or two that I thought was a bit racy. I could seriously not believe the things these 13 year old girls were posting. They were basically asking to be looked at as being promiscuous just from what they posted (pictures with some words attached). I made DS delete one specific ‘friend’ and mentioned the picture I had seen and DS even told me that it was disturbing to him. Keep them innocent while you can I say!
I’d love to have you link up to the Weekend Blog Walk blog hop and follow at http://www.athometake2.com. Looking forward to reading more of you blog.
As the mother of a very striking 10 year old who already thinks she is fat and wants her own FB. Oh I soooo get this. Finally I convinced her that curves are beautiful and she is not the least bit fat. The fear of who is out there. Fuhgetaboutit…
OH my word. The fear.
Beautiful as always.
xoxoxo
I have three daughters (ages 12,8 and 6)and completely understand the thoughts you expressed. I have been doing a bit of research on the subject of girls and self-esteem. I was very surprised to learn what an important role fathers play.