I really am starting to feel a little bit of mother’s remorse because with Mini-Me, I couldn’t WAIT for her to go to bed so that the Tooth Fairy could capture that precious little tooth and replace it with 4 shiny quarters. Yes, that is all the Tooth Fairy drops at our house. In some circles, she may be a cheapskate, but in the circle that is our house, $1.00 a piece seems pretty damn good considering all they had to do was lose that little sucker and remember to put it under their pillow. Once we get the littles to remember the proper placement of their pearly white, we have a hard time getting the message to the Tooth Fairy to remember to do her job when she is supposed to do it. Short of telling the littles the truth *gasp*, I don’t know how many more little white lies Farmer Bob and I can come up with to cover up her forgetfulness.
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Again, cute, but a little over the top for me. I am NOT going to make a “Tooth Fairy door” to put by my kids’ beds. This seems like a craft that would not only cause me to lose my mind, but curse uncontrollably. Still not solving our little problem.
“Oh, you must not have been asleep yet when she came by”
“Maybe she was just too busy. I am sure you aren’t the only kid who lost a tooth last night”
or the one we used this last time after the Boy said he didn’t put it under his pillow right away:
“Oh, she must have come by and it wasn’t there yet, so she moved on.”
Impressive, no? I mean, I am pretty witty first thing in the morning, especially without coffee. I think they are better than “mommy fell asleep on the couch and completely forgot.”. Agreed?
I think I may have come up with a solution that doesn’t involve installing a neon sign as a flashing reminder. Are you sure you can handle this much genius so early in the morning? Grab a cup of coffee, I can wait. I really want you to be able to properly process what I am about to say. It will revolutionize the entire Tooth Fairy story for everyone. Oh, you are back? Here we go.
I have recently discovered that the Tooth Fairy has a sister. She comes along not only to help carry off all the teeth, but to provide help and encouragement to mothers as well. Hold on to your cups as I introduce you to the Tooth Fairy’s very helpful sister…THE WINE FAIRY.
How fabulous is this? The Tooth Fairy brings money and places it under the pillow in exchange for dear Johnny’s pearly white, while the Wine Fairy brings a bottle of wine and leaves it on mom’s nightstand in exchange for well, in exchange for nothing. Just as a goodwill gesture to promote peace, love, and mental stability for mothers everywhere. A thank you in a way, for promoting your littles creative brain and encouraging them to believe. For just being their mother. Pure. Genius. For her I think that maybe, just maybe, I would not only encourage, but demand, the arrival of the Tooth Fairy. I would even consider making her a door.
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I kept forgetting to leave money too! Fortunately, me kids are slobs, so I would go into their rooms and “help them look” for the money– never mind that the tooth was still there. It worked once or twice. I finally started putting a dollar in my bra the second one of their teeth fell out– that way, when I was dressing for bed the money would fall out and force me to remember my toothy duties. LOL!
The Wine Fairy! I want to apply for that job. We are having a similar problem with the (lazy ass/forgetful) tooth fairy. My oldest started losing teeth in pairs and then would stick them under her pillow directly underneath her melon head. It is a logistical nightmare. I need a ninja to retrieve them.
You. ARE. A GENIUS.!!!!
Okay, let me tell you about the story when we were at a beach house with the family and the boy lost his tooth. So we wake up in the morning, hear footsteps from the room (he’s like an elephant when he walks) the kiddos were sleeping in, and then in comes boy bursting through the door in utter shock and despair. “The tooth fairy didn’t come!” Me, muttering ‘oh shit’ in the pillow, dad jumps up. “No way, let’s look around your bed.” Quick while dad plays diversion I dig around in my purse and find- get this- a Canadian Dollar coin. I put it in the bathroom on the toothbrush holder. “Hey guys” I yell, “Did you find it? Maybe she left it in the last place you had your tooth BEFORE you went to bed, retrace your steps buddy.” Okay….finds coin in bathroom. Thinks it’s the coolest thing ever. Whew. Mom and dad wink and nod at each other across the room and get a shot of whiskey in their morning coffee to bring down their racing adrenaline and heart rate. The End.
Our Tooth Fairy was a total slacker too, until we put a very special Teddy bear outside the bedroom door that holds the tooth. That damn fairy just cant forget to leave the money with the bear…she has to walk by it to get to the little fairies room.
That’s awesome.. So glad I’m not the only one lol
I forget and tell him I’ll email her and put it on the stove and she will get it
“Momita” here…you guys just gave me my first laugh in a most shiity time…I am called “Momita” cause I was.. my kids’ friends alter ego Mom…thus Momita….I had parathyroid cancer a short time ago and my bones and teeth are for shit now…I would like to know if there is a “Tooth Fairy” for old people whose teeth are falling out by the numbers; who maybe leaves a beer, Margarita, hot guy, valium or even another great laugh, that I could find next to me in the morning..God knows if you wake me….you probably will be greated by my loaded Ruger…If you don’t know of the special kinda “Tooth Fairy” please keep the laughs coming…thanks guys…
Love it! I think the wine fairy has been to my house
LOL… We had to tell our son that the Tooth Fairy put his dollar into our bank account… and that’s AFTER I accidentally lost the tooth in question…
I’m feeling so much better after this read. thank you. My son recently lost his second tooth. I thought about writing a blog about it too. I forgot. So I told him to try again after another fib to top the tooth fairy fib. The next night, my husband did put the money, but did not take the tooth, and it’d fallen by the bed, for him to find the next day. So we told him she must have dropped it, and see if he could get her to bring him more money for it. So, he did. I put money under his pillow again, and put his tooth in a drawer that no one ever uses. Except, someone used it. The tooth was discovered AGAIN and so i gave up and felt like a shitty mom. the end.
Very good post. I liked it. I’ve just had the little girl in my novel lose her tooth. So, next chapter has to be of her waking up to something great. I’m thinking of a glitter glued dollar bill with a message from tooth fairy
Thank you for the wonderful post! I think all moms are fairies in different ways.
I so want to meet this “Wine Fairy”! She needs to help encourage me!
hi – I’ve been lurking around your blog for a while and stalking you on Pinterest and Facebook, but this is my first time commenting!
The Wine Fairy sounds super…does she take requests?
Around my way we haven’t had problems with the tooth fairy forgetting, but we had major meltdown from Munchkin #1 when she realized she wasn’t getting $20 for her teeth. Yep, apparently some of her school chums get TWENTY BUCKS PER TOOTH! Those are most likely children with no siblings and the moms have paying jobs, but I had a tough time explaining why our tooth fairy is such a cheapskate!! I blogged about it, you can read it if you want to, but no pressure or anything
http://bogogreenio.blogspot.com/2012/09/sorry-kiddo-tooth-fairys-on-budget-too.html
I once had a kindergarten student who lost a tooth in the a.m., was excited she was getting 20$. I was horrified, at recess she yanked out 5 more so she could get the baby doll she wanted from the mall!
Thank God they were all baby teeth!
Warning Parents don’t be STUPID with how much $ you give!
I would love to make some of those crafty things for the lost teeth. But I can’t even get caught up on the laundry, so it’s not happening. My son’s teeth rarely make it under his pillow-he tends to lose them in really weird places, like the shower!