I’ll Try

Here we are, the end of one year and the beginning of a new one.  While you may be expecting me to tell you all about how great this last year has been and all my resolutions for the new one, I hope you aren’t disappointed when I tell you that I’m not.  Not that this last year hasn’t been amazing, because it has been.  Not that I don’t need to make resolutions,  I just don’t.  I really don’t see the need to set myself up for failure and disappointment in myself.  I decided this year that instead of resolutions that I would have a hard time being successful at, I will come up with a list of things that I am willing to TRY.  At least I know that if I can try to do it, I won’t feel too bad if I either try it and don’t succeed or I just don’t get to it.  So here we go, things I’m willing to try for 2013.

1.  I’m gonna try to curse less.  I know, we parents say this all the time, but I’m really gonna give this an honest effort.  Notice I didn’t say I was going to stop cursing, I said I was gonna try to curse less.  Admit it, we all have those moments when we just need to go outside and scream a nice long string of obscenities.  When I start to get worked up about something, I like a nice big breath of fresh air followed by a “holyshitmotherfuckerdamnitalltohellupyoursbitemeiquitthisisallbullshitargh!!!!!!”.  Really, try it some time.  You will feel so much better.

2.  I’m gonna try to exercise more.  I can come up with excuses all day long as to why I didn’t go for a run.  My treadmill is broken, my back hurts, I got busy clipping my toe nails and plucking the black hairs from my chin.  The list goes on and on and on.  The bottom line here is that I need to get off my lazy ass and do something but until I decide for myself that I want to schedule that into my day, I will just stick to the “do it when I want to” kind of schedule.  It isn’t like a lead a completely sedentary lifestyle, I have five young kids so about the only time I get to sit for an extended amount of time (as in more than thirty seconds) is when I am enjoying my daily constitutional with the bathroom door locked.  My problem is finding the time and motivation for something a little bit more “cardiovascular” like a run.  Alone.  For thirty minutes or more. Did I just say alone for thirty minutes or more?  Um…this is sounding better and better the more I think about it.

3.  I’m gonna try to write more consistently. This one is hard because I have a very strict “no crap” policy here.  If I’m not feeling it, I’m not publishing it just to put something out there.  While this may not have been a policy that was in full effect when I first started this blog, I have learned quite a bit this year and just feel that quality over quantity is so important.  I’m making some changes around here which I will share with you all later, but I have high hopes for the upcoming year and publishing crap is not part of it.  I mean, I could blog every damn day if you wanted me too and you didn’t mind reading about “see you in the morning corn” and the color of my kids’ boogers.  Not exactly things you really want to know about I am sure.  I do this because I love it, not for fortune and fame.  Well, maybe a little bit of fortune would be nice.  The minute it becomes work becomes the moment I’m done. So my apologies for not following a strict writing schedule, but trust me, you should thank me for that.

4.  I’m gonna try to stay up on the housework.  This one is difficult since I have such a love/hate relationship with cleaning and laundry.  I love to have a clean house, but I hate the work I have to do in order to have it.  While a cleaning lady sounds fabulous, they do require payment for their services. So unless they are willing to accept cow manure or a crabby kid as payment, that option is out.  So yes, I’m going to try to make sure that the kitchen floor gets scraped, I mean mopped, more often.  I’m going to try to make sure that Farmer Bob doesn’t run out of clean underwear.  I’m going to try to ward off all the little piles of crap.  I can’t make any promises thanks to the other six people that live here, but damn it I’m going to try.

5.  I’m going to try to be more understanding and patient with my children.  There is no way to sugar coat it, parenting is hard.  The hardest thing we have ever done.  I’ve written before about motherhood and how difficult it is.  As Mini-Me enters these tween years, I have never been more afraid of what I am doing as a mother of three girls.  Am I teaching them all the right things?  Am I listening enough?  Am I talking too much?  As my boys get a year older, I am worried about making sure that they are on the right path as well.  Surely it’s OK that The Boy wasn’t allowed to play football this year?  Surely I can get PITA potty trained this year?  All I can do is try my best.  Hopefully I can hold on to my patience and hopefully I can be understanding.  We all have our “not so bright” parenting moments and I just have to remember that I am not the perfect parent, but as long as I keep trying that is all I can do.

6.  I’m going to try to be more serious. OK, just kidding on this one.  It’s just not even going to happen.  Not one little iota of a chance.  That’s just too boring.

That should about do it.  The opportunities for success are great here, but at least I’m not tied down to anything that I have to do, anything to feel guilty for, nothing to regret.  I figure that at a minimum I can try, and if more happens then that is just an added bonus.  Happy New Year to you all and I hope that your 2013 is nothing short of amazing.  Thank you for all of your support and here is to bigger and better things for us all!  CHEERS!

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