We have reached July. That time of the summer when I believe that the kids are sick of being around me 24/7 and I am not ashamed to admit that the feelings couldn’t be more mutual. Not that I don’t love these little buggers, but damn, this is getting just a smidge ridiculous. It made me start thinking about a couple of different things. One, the things that I am about to lose my shit over, and two, how in the hell can I stop a complete and total mental breakdown, on my part of course. Here is my list of grievances, and what I hope to be some very helpful solutions, short of running away to Mexico and being served drinks all day by a hot cabana boy.
| I have room for a friend. Want to join me? |
Problem 1: The Fighting. Send them to play in the sea of toys and listen to the screaming and the hitting and the throwing of toys. Then begins the crying, the screaming, and the tattling, the latter of which I have no tolerance for. Unless you have suffered a severe physical trauma and are in need either an ambulance or a hearse, I don’t want to hear about it. I hear plenty of the terrible things they say and do to each other, I don’t need a replay.
Solution: Send them outside, give them the hose, let them throw mud at each other. Sit in window to watch with a book and a glass of wine.
Problem 2: The Whining. “I’m boooored”, “there’s nothing to do”, “can we GO somewhere?” Sound familiar? Every damn day something really “sucks” around here. I won’t play the right game, or PITA needs a nap so we can’t go to the pool, or *GASP* they have to clean their rooms. Their whining is comparable to that of fingernails on a chalkboard, or that really annoying screech that their forks make when they scrape them on their plates.Solution: Send them outside, give them the hose, let them throw mud at each other. Sit in window to watch with a book and another glass of wine.
Problem 3: Laziness. ”It’s HAWWWWWT”, ”Can’t we just watch a movie?”, “Can I play on the “, ”I don’t want to play a game”, “do I HAVE to?” ”It’s HAWWWWWT.” No shit kids, its summer. These kids have a severe case of the lazies. It doesn’t matter what solution I try to give them, they complain. If it doesn’t involve leaving the house and doing something that they want to do, they aren’t interested. Are they willing to pay for any of it? Heck no. Do they give me gas money? No way. Do they just fight all the way there and all the way home? You betcha.Solution: Send them outside, lock the door, give them the hose and let them throw mud at each other. Sit in window to watch with a book and finish first bottle of wine.
| Us in the car. |
Problem 4: The Filth. Somehow, these kids have lost the ability to put away their crap. Not that they were experts before summer started, but I swear, if it is in this house they will find it and drop it anywhere they damn well please. Make them pick up after themselves and you can combine all the above problems into one super-de-duper fight between children and mother. They fight over who does what, they whine about having to do it, they do it so badly that they have to come back and do it again, and mom locks herself in her bedroom in order to avoid a major meltdown.Solution: Send them outside, lock the door, give them the hose and let them throw mud at each other. Go back to bedroom, lock the door, pop the cork on another bottle of wine and don’t come out until the house “appears” to be clean.
Now, in all seriousness, I work really hard at engaging my children. We cook, we clean, we go to the pool, we do arts and crafts, we watch movies, they make up games and plays. I even let them play Play-Doh *GASP* (outside of course). I do dread this time of summer. The temperature outside is pretty similar to that of the broiler when set on high. It is hot, real damn hot, and I can only spend so many hours chasing a two year old around the pool. I believe that any honest mother can admit that sometimes we just need a break. A break from the fighting, whining, laziness, and filth. Some time to ourselves to regroup, rethink, and recharge. Even if it is just 5 minutes locked in our room with a bottle of wine and a computer.
Comments
Haha! I hear ya! Kids are currently cleaning their rooms right now so they can go to the movies this afternoon. We’ll probably bowl today too since we haven’t done much of that this summer and it’s too damn hot to do anything else.
We are living the same life, and need the same vacation! I am not ashamed to admit that, while refereeing the six millionth fight of the day, trying to keep track of 4 kids at the pool, refereeing more fights, and spending every last penny I have on groceries which the little beasts try to open up and eat IN THE DRIVEWAY for God’s sake (could I at least get it in the door??), I am yearning for white sandy beaches, turquoise water, bottomless daiquris, and NO husband or children for at least 250 miles. Cabana boy? Yes please. And if I can’t have all of that, I’ll take my own apartment instead, lol… I love my kids dearly, but for the love of all that’s holy, summer vacation is harder than school….except for the sleeping in, which praise the good Lord, all of my children love to do in the summer, this is the time of year when summer loses all of its redeeming qualities for me! I love knowing that I’m not alone *unwinding the hose and prepping the wine for today’s summer fun*
It’s been hotter than normal around here, and I can’t stand being in the heat too long. The kids have definitely been fighting more and pushing the boundaries. Maybe I’ll pull out the Soiderman sprinkler today…Can we request a cabana boy that looks like Johnny?
I have just recently started reading your blog, and I absolutely love it!!! There are some days when I wonder if you aren’t writing about MY life… We are in the midst of the summer blah days as well, and there are days when I am almost in tears when bedtime FINALLY arrives! I love my family dearly, and don’t know what I would do without them, but even 24 hours alone sounds wonderful to me right now
I would swear that you are looking at my family through the windows. That is exactly what goes on here.Problem 1,2, and 3 all the time. I love my 4 kiddos the most….but at the end of our 15 hour days 8:45pm is the best time when they are all asleep and quiet little angles. Until 6:30 AM yes thats right 6:30 AM the next day when it starts all over. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Not gonna lie. That beach picture made it very hard for me to focus as I read the rest of this post. Now I will dream about pina coladas on the beach the rest of today. Heaven.
I’ve often said that the best thing I can do for my kids is go to work and give them a break from me. I seriously think the hardest job I’ve ever had were the last couple of summers I had as a stay at home mom.
Like others, this is my house to a “T”! Now I understand why teachers need the summer off – to make me appreciate them! My biggest fight is also the cleaning of the rooms, why my son thinks that the hamper is anywhere and everywhere, I’ll never know – But I like one comment about doing chores before an outing, however that will break my bank if I try to do it everyday! Love your blog – you can thank Jen at PIWTPITT!
See this is something I dont have a problem with. I bought a pool membership and its 3 blocks away and mine are young enough that I just throw them in the kiddie pool and I can sit there with them and they can sit there for HOURS! Best 120$ my father in law ever spent haha. Its the heat that kills me being preggo again and all and this freaking heat wave makes me angry…
gawd…this sounds really, really familiar! I also use the do this before and activity…it is a great motivator!
Oh, the “” sheesh I can only handle watching them play electronics…like you said go outside. I did the water gun thingy but the hose…great idea! I am going to borrow that one…it should give me a day or two without constantly hearing “this.is.sooooooooooooooooooooborrrrrrrrrring”
THANK the heavens above or the fitness center for the swimming pool and TWO HOURS of kids play time in the kiddie gym during the summer months or I’d probably need a visit to the loony bin. I home school so the summer months my kids are involved in summer camps, plus the kiddie gym…I need it to regain my sanity (so to speak).
i literally had just called my husband in tears today to tell him that i need a weekend off from my kids and soon. a few minutes later i read this post. it was absolutely kismet. i am glad to know that i am not the only one who feels this way. oh and by the way, the one weekend available for me to take a weekend away before school starts… my husband has a golf trip planned. happy summer to me!
I think my husband’s golf clubs would ‘mysteriously’ disappear…
Mine is going on golf trip 13-15…..wonder where I can disapear to the following weekend…? IDEAS PEOPLE!! I NEED THEM!!
I went and voted for you. Great post. Validation for all us ‘bored’ stay-at-home moms…
this was hilarious! so sorry for your pain. Love the beach pic and if you can’t find anyone else that can go with you to the beach, please let me know…I am ready! I need a vacay from my hubby…does that count? LOL
hahaha. You were in my mind when you wrote this. love you, girl!
xoxo
So funny! I’m laughing with you, not at you!
Thanks for telling it like it is!
I am having some of the same problems out of my children, here of late. Solution that I have found that works for all instances??? Wait for it…. wait… wait… Ready???
I physically only have two children, and I invite my 5 nieces/nephews over for the day, send them OUTSIDE to play in the slip-and-slide (that my 2 are WAY too old for), and outside time, telling them they have to play in the slide for at least an hour (my hours start when they are all soaking wet) and cannot come back in until all are completely dry! This will normally last for at least half the day, giving me time to relax on the porch with a glass of ice tea, cigarettes, and a camera. And quiet time to myself! So far…
Yes, I might be the only crazy one out here…LOL.
Glad I’m not alone! Though my children are still young enough to be satisfied by almost daily trips to the pool, daily trips to my gym daycare, easy arts and crafts projects and nature walks they still expect me to constantly provide them with entertainment. Sigh… I love them…. but…. really??? I always hear what are we going to do now!
Very funny! And,,, a validation that we’re not the only ones!
New follower from the Naptime Review. I’d love for you to pay my page Cave Princess!
Krista Morgan
http://www.caveprincess.com
So funny! I love this! I found you via the Mom’s Mingle and am happy to be your newest follower! I’d love a visit back at http://www.two-in-diapers.blogspot.com!
Just found your blog on the mom hop link up! New Follower! So, this is what my life is going to be like in only a matter of years, eh?
My kiddos are watching a movie right now while my baby naps! Found you on the mingle. Now following via google friend, twitter, fb and pinterest. Would love follows back http://www.cumminslife.blogspot.com
You are so right! Mud is also always the answer. My boys love, love mud. My kids are really bored because we are selling the house and have to keep it clean ALL THE TIME. It’s crazy!
(Thanks for linking this up with us over at #findingthefunny a couple of weeks ago!)