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The other day, my dear friend The Nitty Gritty Mommy, mommy of 3 preschoolers, posted these two status updates on her Facebook page:
“Yes, yes I do have my hands full. And they are all mine. And no, they are not triplets, but the boys ARE twins. Yes, I know it goes by fast. And I know you don’t envy me, I could tell by the look on your face. You didn’t need to say it. And yes, not that it’s your business, but I am “done” having kids. “
While on the topic, let me share another little ditty with you. True Story. I once had a lady at the kiddie gym tell me “It is people like you who have too many kids who ruin things for the rest of us.”
For some reason, this just got me all sorts of flustered. For the love of chocolate, people, this woman has 3 kids, THREE!! She is not running some sort of illegal kiddie farm, what could she possibly be ruining for the “rest of us”? Is having more than 2.5 children going to cut into your food supply, or make your life less tolerable? If so, I will not apologize, you apparently need to get a life of your own and suck it up buttercup. As a mother of five myself, I cannot possibly fathom how my fertile uterus has any bearing on what happens to you.I get incredibly frustrated when people get critical with me about the number of children that I have. Yes, I have 5 kids all between the ages of 2 and 10. Yes, I am aware that I am busy. Let me just clear up a few things right here, right now:
1. Yes, they were ALL planned.
2. Yes, we know what causes that, and by the looks of things we are DAMN good at it.
3. I gave birth to Mini-Me just three weeks shy of my 27th birthday. I did not start when I was twelve.
4. Yes, they are all from the same daddy.
5. Yes, we take care of them all on our own.
6. Yes we are done. No more babies here. All necessary precautions have been taken.
To top it all off, I have recently started shopping around for some plane tickets for a little family vacay this summer. I head to http://www.expedia.com/ and put in my specifics. This is what they come back with:
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? So me, being me, immediately fired off this email to Expedia:
I came to your site with the hopes of pricing tickets for a family vacation. Can you imagine the anger I felt when I couldn’t even receive a quote for tickets for my family of 7 because I have “too many travellers”? Why would you even offer the capability to search for tickets for up to 6 adults and 6 children if you will only give quotes for groups of 6 or less. Am I supposed to have my children draw straws to decide who has to stay home from vacation because I can only purchase 6 tickets at a time? I am not impressed with this level of service and am quite unsure at this time if I would ever suggest to anyone to use your site to schedule travel in the future. In this day and time, it is not uncommon for families to be larger than 6. Get with the program Expedia.
I have not heard back from Expedia, nor do I really expect to, but this just really rubbed me the wrong way. I suppose if I was really desperate, I could call the handy 1-800 number that they supply on their website. I could then sit on hold for hours at a time and still get no where fast which in turn would defeat the entire purpose of ordering via the internet. I could take the chance and order in 2 separate transactions and risk not being able to all make it on the same flight. Oh, sorry Farmer Bob, I booked you on a flight with all five kids, alone. I will meet you there, I promise, oh, and try have fun. Consider it a true “bonding” experience. Yeah, that would go over well. Short of offering me seven round trip tickets to the destination of our choice, I would never even think about suggesting Expedia to anyone. Ever. I will choose to take my business elsewhere.
Kudos to those of you with one or two children. That is what works for you and your family. Having five littles is what we felt we needed to have a “complete” family. The Nitty Gritty Mommy is complete with three. I have friends that are complete with six, or seven, or more. We don’t know each other’s stories, so shouldn’t we all be supporting each other instead of criticizing? It isn’t a competition for who has the strongest or most fertile uterus. Those of us with bigger families shouldn’t be ostracized for having ”too many” kids, just as those with smaller families should not be judged for not having more kids. It is what works for us and what works for you and your lifestyle. So please, keep your looks (yes, I see you counting my kids when I walk by, and no, we don’t drive a clown car) and your inappropriate comments to yourself.
Did you buy the book yet? Did you? DID YOU?? Well, you should. You should buy a copy for you, for your sisters/brothers/in-laws/friends/enemies/OB-GYN. You are guaranteed a laugh and to no longer be alone. It’s great material for those moments where you lock yourself in the bathroom for a few seconds of alone time. Don’t forget to head to Amazon when you are done and leave us a GLOWING review. Writers LOVE positive reviews!!!